My mom was around for the first 15 years of my life. Then, for whatever reasons she had, she just wasn’t. Whether for her own self-preservation, her own selfishness, or for MY preservation (which is what I had to tell myself at the time), she just wasn’t there…

My maternal Grandmother stepped in and became the mother my own mother couldn’t be. She taught me what it meant to be responsible – even if she probably banged her head into the wall a few times doing it. She taught me about being independent – to be as self-sufficient as possible.

She was a single mom when it wasn’t fashionable to be, and was a feminist before the word was coined. Most of my best memories of her were talking to her about her younger years, when she traveled the country “just because she could” – from living with her DAR Aunt in Washington DC to working at the USO in San Francisco.

She taught me what it was like to love unconditionally, live fearlessly, and forgive without reservation. She liked to pretend she was a tough cookie, but those who knew her best knew she had a heart of solid gold. Stubborn, resilient, and wise-cracking, but gold nonetheless…

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  1. Damness….when did you become so sentimental? I remember hanging out with you & Grams in the apt on Date St. She was a hoot!!! What you wrote was beautifully written & brought tears to my eyes remembering ‘those days.’ Love you bunches Chicky….& keep writing those memories!!!

  2. I love your story! Thank you for putting WhyMomsMatter into perspective. It is always so wonderful to hear people talk about the Moms Who Matter most in their lives!

    Grateful to you for playing along!

  3. I have a stepdad that was like that for me. My dad wasn’t there and he stepped in. He made all the difference in my life. He always says, “A family is people who love each other and who choose to be with you.” I believe that. Whether it’s a grandmother, or a step parent, or even a sibling, love makes them important in our life.
    Great post. Thanks for giving us the chance to get to know you better 🙂

  4. I have chosen your blog for a Lemonade Award for showing gratitude. You may stop by my blog and pick it up. If you wish to not participate, that’s fine. I just wanted you to know that I enjoy your blog.

  5. What a blessing to have a woman as strong as your grandmother to step in when your mother wasn’t around. Whatever her reasons for not being there, I’m sure it brought you and your grandmother closer together =)

  6. Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute to your Grandmother. I too was raised by my Grandmother from 12 years old on. We had a very tough time after I went to live with her because she ended up with most of her grandchildren and I was the oldest. She had just finished raising her youngest grandchild when she died almost four years ago. I have grieved myself almost to death since she died. I didn’t allow myself to remember all of the good stuff until it was too late. You are so kind and non-judgemental in this post when you speak of your Mother. I long to be like you and truly forgive everyone and let it go. Your Grandmother sounds like an amazing woman, I’d love to read more about her. Hope you are having a lovely Sunday.

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